Dear @LenaDunham of @GIRLSHBO

Dear Lena,

I am aware we have never met, and in fact my writing an online etude to your brilliance will likely get me a) banned from your immediate vicinity and b) laughed at by many of my (20) readers.


I feel compelled to write to you in order to appeal to your ego and in one equally exacting stroke, your compassion.

Tonight I have trussed myself up to impress the hipsters down the road in order to get a job. And I was forced to wonder why when I could be doing the very same, for you! So here I go.

I would do anything to help you create the mint encrusted lamb chop that is GIRLS. I will sit and listen to no end of vitriolic ear bashing. I am well versed in both taking and giving copious amounts of grief, should you require a third party proxy to assist with dealing with the series stakeholders. I make an excellent vodka+lemonade and cheese on toast.

I also live in Brooklyn and have an amusing Australian accent. If all else fails, I will record voicemail messages for all your friends phones in exchange for a small fee, or cameo on your program.

I also have an endless amount of material for you to mine, having possibly dated the most colourful collection of men since Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.

My friend Natalia says to tell you she loves your foul mouth and awkward sex scenes.

I am serious!